You are exactly where you are supposed to be

This is a phrase that encompasses my coaching and exercise physiology practise.

Firstly, it implies that you should let go of control. Because, if you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, there is no reason to try to be anywhere else. And of all the things I’ve learned in consuming philosophy/self-help/personal growth content, the one idea that keeps popping up is that a lack of acceptance is the reason that you’re in distress.

And acceptance doesn’t have to mean agreement. Acceptance simply means we are allowing life to be as it is. and it is only from this place that we can make meaningful change.

Secondly, it invites you to be present to find the gem that is to be learned from this moment. The invitation to slow down gives you the opportunity to be truly present, which creates distance between you and the tension that is causing you distress. And the gem that is to be learned will help you to move forward from this moment with intention.

Lastly, full acceptance of things how they are can stop you from spiralling. Have you ever noticed that the real trouble you face is never from the initial issue, but from the multitude of unhealthy ways we try to avoid/dismiss/overcome/destroy the issue?

If you let go of control and try to be present to find the gem, you are less likely to try a multitude of unhealthy practises to change your circumstance, which can lead to deeper distress.

Have you missed a session?
That’s okay, your strength is not that fragile, let’s try again tomorrow.
Overshot your numbers and have peaked early?
That’s fine, we can adapt and try and different strategy, and who knows, it might work better.
Tweaked a hamstring and can’t deadlift for a few weeks?
What a great opportunity to tune up your bench press and learn more about why this situation occurred.

There is no benefit gained from me giving you tough love, should-ing you (“You should be able to do x”) or shaming you.

Instead I will educate, guide and support you.

You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.